The Saint Confesses, aka The Shifty Fifty
1. I’m British.2. I’m Canadian as well.
3. I’m Agnostic.
4. I’m bisexual.
5. I’m 30.
6. I’m single.
7. I’m a bit fucked up about how that came to be.
8. For work, I have dressed as Barney.
9. For work, I have apprenticed as a tattooist.
10. For work, I spent 5 years working the night shift at a gas station.
11. I was robbed once there, with a knife at my throat.
12. I hate my current job passionately.
13. I live alone.
14. I have almost ½ my body tattooed.
15. I have ½ more to go.
16. I have a cat.
17. My favourite place is Manhattan.
18. My second favourite place is Vienna.
19. I live in Toronto.
20. I have been gaybashed twice.
21. I won both times.
22. I was wearing prissy white boots both times.
23. I have been mistaken for a woman on more than one occasion.
24. I have been called a ‘Dyke.’
25. I value my friends more than life itself.
26. Sometimes I fear that I’m mentally retarded, and just don’t know it.
27. I can play the guitar.
28. I can play the bass.
29. I can play the piano.
30. I can’t sing, but I do.
31. I have shot a rifle.
32. I have shot a rifle at an animal, but I had a good reason.
33. I wanted to be a helicopter pilot.
34. I have idiopathic seizures.
35. I can’t become a pilot because of the seizures.
36. I was expelled from high school while tutoring university level chemistry.
37. I never went to college or university.
38. I compensate by trying to sound intelligent and reading big books.
39. I have two sisters and a brother.
40. I am the eldest.
41. My parents have been married for over 32 years.
42. I don’t do drugs, but most people don’t believe me.
43. I like gin and beer, but not together.
44. I laugh at my own misfortunes.
45. I believe this gives me the right to laugh at others’ misfortunes.
46. Beneath my cold façade, I do care.
47. I’m a capitalist.
48. Even when I was poor, I was a capitalist.
49. I refuse to marry a woman until gay marriage is legal, not that it’s currently an issue.
50. I am surprised that I didn't have to lie to come up with fifty.
posted by St. Dickeybird @ 8:28 PM
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